Listen, stop beating yourself up about that careless toss of red wine that seems to have ruined one of your favorite frocks. There just might be a silver lining. (Always look for one after a night that involves a spill.)
Yes, of course you should try treating that damn spot with Wine Away (seems to work best), or take the sullied item straight to the dry cleaner. But when all else fails, envision a new life for the poor thing. The jaunty top above used to be a knee-length dress; luckily the wine in question fell mostly below the hip (great aim!) so I just lopped off the bottom. If a sleeve gets soused, lose it (or both, depending on how balanced you need to be).
Remember, it's a painless operation or the scrap heap. You might find you like the new garment better.